Posted: July 8, 2012 in Pink

Well, we learnt about corporate social responsibility (CSR) all the time in college, but we did not really practice anything in reality. My firm happens to organise this CSR thingy about twice a year and staffs are required to  participate in at least one of them to keep the project going.

This time around, it was a play day in Sentosa Island. We will bring ‘special’ kids for one day outing at Sentosa to have fun with them. These ‘special’ kids have disease like blood disorder, muscles problem, hyper active and many more terms that I don’t understand. We started out playing the most exciting game, The Luge and the skyride!

Then, we head for 4D Pirate show and then the Extreme Log Ride. We didn’t do other activities due to some of the kids are physically disable. But we had very much fun getting to know each other and playing all these games together.

At the end of the day, we all felt very exhausted and we only took care of them for one day. Imagine the parents have to take care of them everyday for the rest of their lives. Sometimes, we just need to appreciate whatever that we have now. I feel very blessed already for having what I’m having now and am capable of doing what I like to do and to be able to support myself be it physically or financially.


Welcome to reality!

Posted: May 12, 2012 in Black

It’s been awhile because of the busy schedule that i barely have an empty window but at the same time i do not want to lose friends and social life, thus im trying to reconnect with friends ensuring that we kept each other update.

Well, i’ve moved house. I like the place i stayed before but who knows i love it more here in the new place. Everything seems so quiet and neat and the owner is really nice.

But i barely stay at home, basically i come back only to sleep. I’ve worked so hard in the past weeks, staying back late in the office calling overseas client and finishing stuff.

I felt stressful and demotivated mostly because whatever i’ve done seems so wrong and basically i get scolded every day. Maybe not scold but i know what i did was not good enough or maybe my senior would say it’s terrible.

I’ve talked to a friend about it and he say i’m still learning and don’t be so hard on myself all. I know but sometimes things just don’t really work out we want them to. Sometimes i purposely go a few rounds to the pantry and washroom just so i can breath properly. The work place is so tense up. The company i handled wasn’t easy and i haven’t start practise my skepticism yet as an auditor should hence all the scolding that i get.

And other friends were all saying i’m still new but i know i didn’t pick up things fast enough to avoid all these. It made me question sometimes, is this really what i want to do for life? But i thought i am not an easily give up person. But i don’t quite see yet the meaning of my job. Should i go soul searching or something?

Perhaps this is the reality. Perhaps this is the real life. No shield of family protection, not much of friends standing on the same side, nobody to help me but myself. I feel sad.

Human race

Posted: April 10, 2012 in Blue

I finally got the time to blog again because I’m on sick leave for 2 days. I was still fine yesterday afternoon but all of sudden I felt the heat of my body around 3pm and I continue to work until 7pm just to finish up some work. It’s when I left the office that I felt my head so heavy and every step I took requires so much strength I can barely walk properly. But I manage to get back and went to see doctor immediately where the doctor say, “Ahh! Very high fever!”

I felt so much better today after I took the medicine and sweated whole night. So I got some free time now to reflect whatever happened in my life. I’ve worked for a month now. But I still miss my student life very much. Miss all my friends and memories we had the most. I don’t really have friends here. Well, I do get along with my colleagues quite well and they are all very nice. But, maybe I’m still new, these friendships are pale in comparison with those I’ve built years before and still maintaining.

Or maybe it’s the lifestyle here where everything is so fast, it’s a race! We don’t tell each other everything, it’s a competition! You tend to protect yourselves in a new environment. Or it’s just because everybody is too busy doing their own jobs. Sigh! I wish the Europe trip never ends. So that everyday is a happy day!

But I also know that I have to put up with this and get used to it coz there’s a very big portion of life revolves around work. Sometimes, I just thought to get married and be a housewife and forgot that I was once a very ambitious and adventurous young girl. I don’t know if I was as bold and unique anymore in a place where all the smart people lives and works.

The new girl!

Posted: March 16, 2012 in Orange

Ahh!! I’m so excited to blog about this but haven’t got the time, hence this late entry. I’ve now worked in the firm for 2 weeks. I am still learning everyday as I’m the only ‘new girl’ in the office. I think I’m really fortunate to be under a very good senior and also to have so many friendly colleagues. We went to watch Wicked The Musical in my first week and went to sing karaoke this week which was all very fun!

And I met a guy whom I secretly admire. I know the word admire is so secondary-school word where we always use when we saw a hot guy! Haha! But this guy is really attractive not because of the outside look but what’s in him. Well, I do believe a good looking guy will add some marks. Erm, to sum up outer look, he looks just like a normal average guy. Not ugly is more than sufficient already i guess.haha!

He’s actually ex-colleague of my current colleagues if u know what i mean. But he still hang out with us and sometimes we have lunch together and basically that’s how I met him.

From my observation, he’s a very intelligent and mature because I know it from the way he talks. FYI, he’s the same age as I am. I felt myself super immature when I stand beside him. He’s super gentleman, he holds door for everyone everytime be it the office door or the taxi door! He will help girls to push the straws into our bubble milk tea. I think only girl will know this is quite a difficult job that requires both strength and speed but at the same time not too much to avoid drinks spill out.

He will offer to pour me drinks when i attempt to pour. He remembers my name and never call me wrongly even once unlike the others. Lol! He is super fun to be with and he sings the best during the karaoke session. Unbelievably true! And he’s a very responsible, not easily give up, committed in everything he does type. Even the boss compliment about his attitude during our training session, even though he had left the firm.

But because of his nice gentleman attitude, he doesn’t accept money from me when he paid for my lunch and also drinks. Well, don’t get me wrong coz he already has gf and he treats everyone with the same nice attitude. Awwwww! I know some of you already heartbroken now. Hahaha! Because so am I. Hahaaha! So you can laugh along now. The funny thing is he kept trying to push me towards another guy which is so weird to me. You can laugh even louder now. Lol!

As for the job, I am still happily doing my tasks. Not really happy but not sad also so I guess I can still survive this job for like 2 years before I will look up to achieve my next goal. For the time being, I’m just trying to learn as much as I could.

Midnight thoughts

Posted: March 4, 2012 in Blue

My heart is beating out of control again. And i know perfectly why. I don’t have a perfectly healthy body. The blood test revealed that my thyroid got some problems relating to generating hormones. The too fast/slow beating heart, the shaky hands, the abnormal allergy are all the effects of such disease. I took medication for the past one month and need to continue it for one and a half year. I stopped though when I run out of pills coz I’m far away now, in a country where everything is expensive and the strong instinct that I should go back to the previous doctor.

Health. The most important issue ever. Yet alot of people took it for granted, for work, for living, for greater achievement, for fame, for beauty and whatever reasons they can think of. I am not excluded being wide awake at these hours. It’s 2.30am now.

And today I learnt that my ex class monitor back in secondary school is in hospital diagnosed with lymph cancer. I was shocked because she is the same age as I am, so young, so unfair!
Sometimes I really hate the fact that I didn’t stand strong for what I believe, for my ambition to be a doctor. Perhaps I can cure my mother, my friend and many more people in this world. Well, perhaps I won’t have such a big influence in medical industry but at least I can help to save some lives.

Life. So long but yet so short. So certain but yet so unpredictable. So simple but yet so complicated. So challenging but yet we should be grateful that we’re still breathing.

Tribute to GiGi

Posted: February 28, 2012 in Black

Reading some friends and celebrities blogs make me feel like blogging again. I’ve been MIA for the past 2 months looking for jobs. Wake up every morning to check my email, search more vacancies online, send out even more resumes, waiting for calls, go through the entrance tests, go to interviews and talk craps..well, you know the drill..

And then, I got a job! This is when I have this half-hearted feeling. Will talk about this in the next post hopefully.

Rewind my life a little to previous few months, my one and only love, GiGi, died. I was so sad that I avoided this topic when people asked about her.

She is a mixed Maltese, 3rd white doggie generation in our family. Her size is very small with soft and fluffy long white fur. She was a very smart and active doggie, able to obey instructions and able to stand up on 2 legs really long time. She had been a great companion all along whenever I feel sad and need somebody to talk to.

I’ve always love her so much because she grew up together with me. I think she felt really sad and lonely after her grandma and mum passed away last year. Perhaps because of that, she died suddenly few months ago.

I hope she’s living good in another world now. Rest in peace.

Time flies!

Posted: December 30, 2011 in Violet

My eyes just blinked twice and 3 months has passed??!!! And when I think back what I have done in these 3 months..nothing! I have done NOTHING! Okay la, I did went for Europe trip but that was only 2 weeks.. way shorter than what I have planned before because I don’t want to go for a vacation with the wrong person even though I paid 600 pound in advance which could not be refund. 600 pound is around RM3000, just to buy back my happiness or in other words, just to avoid being sad. I know it can already buy a hundred big pack of rice in Malaysia and perhaps donate it to all the countries suffering famine and poverty. Sin of this is big enough to eat up my heart everytime I think of how wasteful I am.

I was so depressed thinking if I’ve made the wrong decision. I was unsure whether to follow my plan previously, taking him for granted to fulfil my selfish desire and to live up to everyone’s expectation that we were the perfect match. Or, to change the plan entirely, break the bond once and for all, live life with the person I wanted to be with and assume the amount was for the sake of better life in the future or at least the happier.

Everything changed in a very unexpected way. None of us seeing this coming. But I did live a happier life now. Or I thought so.